The Consequences of Boredom
by esrevnI boB
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke were bored one day, so they did something stupid and that caused some stuff to happen. This is the story of that stuff.


The Consequences of Boredom

Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, not either of us.

Author's note The 1stg: Okay so here is the deal everyone, this is my first ever fanfiction and I got help writing it. So a big thanks to Swordoflight86 for said help. Readers please review, constructive criticism is welcome but flames will be used circumvent the rise in my heating bill.

Chapter 1: The Terrible Mistake

Sasuke and Naruto were waiting for Kakashi. They were bored. VERY bored. Having just come back from their mission to the Wave country, and the newly constructed Great Naruto Bridge, they were back to doing D-rank missions. Between the lack of exciting missions and having to wait several hours a day for their sensei, boredom had become a greater enemy to Naruto and Sasuke than Zabuza and Haku had ever been. And then Naruto asked the fateful question.

"Sasuke," Naruto said.

"What is it, dobe?" Sasuke replied

"I was wondering, uh, have you ever, um, you know, had sex?"

"No."

Silence reigned for a few minutes.

"Sasuke."

"What?"

"Have you ever, um, wanted to?"

Sasuke turned and glared. "What do you think?"

"Oh right, of course, I should have known."

An awkward silence fell. Less than thirty seconds passed. Then boredom really dug in its heels, and bit, hard.

"Sasuke, I was wondering something."

Sasuke was starting to lose his already tenuous grip on his patience. "What do you want now, Naruto?"

"Well, you know, haveyoueverwantedtobeagirl?" Naruto said as quickly as possible.

Once Sasuke got his head around the question, he couldn't understand the reason behind it, and in a moment of what must have been insanity, decided to humor him.

"Naruto, you do realize you can become a girl anytime you want, right?"

"Oh yeah."

Now at this point, Naruto and Sasuke had been waiting for Kakashi for three hours, twenty seven minutes and fifteen seconds. They hadn't had an exciting mission for almost a month, and all they could see for the day ahead was more boredom. That combined with teenage hormones and the topic of conversation, made what happened next almost unsurprising. Emphasis on the almost.

"Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke started at the sound of Naruto's voice. There were two things wrong. One, Naruto's voice was female, and Naruto wasn't a girl. And two, Naruto had just called him Sasuke-kun. He turned towards Naruto in a mixture of curiosity and alarm. He was confronted with a vision of feminine perfection. Long, silky blond hair that shined; beautiful cerulean eyes that glowed with their own inner radiance; and soft, unblemished skin all combined to make the blood rush to his head. His eyes traveled lower, noting how the jumpsuit was almost obscenely tight in the chest and hips. He was finding it very hard to concentrate on anything other than the vision of beauty in front of him. That and the growing bulge in his pants.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"What is it, Naruto?"

Naruto was currently taking off his jacket, which was increasing Sasuke's interest in noticeable ways. "I was wondering if you wanted to have sex with me." This statement was punctuated by a slow, languid stretch, which sent Sasuke over the edge. He went flying back, propelled by a nosebleed of epic proportions.

Sasuke landed a few yards away his back against one of the bridge railings. Naruto came running over and helped him up. His touch sent shivers down Sasuke's spine.

"Sasuke, are you alright?" Naruto asked

"Yeah Naruto, I'm okay"

Naruto smiled cutely "Sasuke-kun, you never answered my question. Perhaps you need some incentive to help decide." Naruto kissed Sasuke.

For the first few seconds, Sasuke was stunned, then he eased into the kiss. They broke the kiss, at which point Sasuke took the opportunity to ask, "Your place or mine?"

Naruto pondered, then said "Yours." They left.

A few minutes later, Sakura walked up to find that neither of her two teammates were at the designated meeting spot. 'Am I that early?' She thought.

Then Kakashi walked up and said "Yo. Where is Sasuke?"

"No clue. I haven't seen Naruto either."

"Oh well, So much for today's mission. It was a good one too. Let's go see Hokage-sama and tell him we can't accept it."

As Naruto and Sasuke were walking through the village they caught the attention of one Jiraiya of the Sannin, the self proclaimed super pervert. When he saw them, his pervert senses went off, telling him that he could get some good research material from whatever activities they were about to engage in.

Kakashi and Sakura walked into the Hokage's office. The Hokage smiled and said, "Ah. Team Seven, here for the courier run to Tanzaku Town."

Kakashi sighed, "Well, yeah, except we're kind of shorthanded."

"Yeah, Naruto is slacking off, and he conned Sasuke into doing it with him" Sakura said

The Third took out his crystal ball, "Because this is an important mission, I will search for them using this."

The Hokage used the crystal to search the village for the two absent ninja. "Ah yes, I think I've, I've, oh my." A small trickle of blood appeared under his nose.

Sakura stormed forward, "What's going on, did you find Sasuke-kun?"

The Third smiled, "See for yourself."

Sakura looked into the crystal, "What's Sasuke doing with that blond? Forget that, who's the blond?"

Kakashi chuckled, "Well Sakura, to answer the first question, they're getting better acquainted. As to the second, let's just say you may have met."

Sakura felt rage building inside her, "Ino!"

Kakashi chuckled some more, "No." Then both him and the Third started laughing uproariously.

Sakura stared at the crystal, saw what was going on, and said, "Are they about to-"

Kakashi cut her off, "Yes, and now you need to leave, as the Third and I have some adult matters that need attending to." He pushed her out the door and slammed it in her face.

Have you ever woken up the morning after a party and wondered what the (radio edit) did I do last night? Well, that's exactly how Naruto and Sasuke feel right about now.

Naruto and Sasuke were sitting in the kitchen, having a silent and awkward breakfast, made all the more so by the fact that Naruto was still a girl.

Naruto began speaking, "So, did we, uh, actually,..."

"Yeah, I think, uh, yeah." Sasuke was having just as much trouble completing a sentence as Naruto was.

The silence deepened, and the awkwardness continued.

Sasuke finally broke down, "Is that really necessary?"

"Is what really necessary?" Naruto asked, confused.

"The Oiroke no jutsu, do you really still need it?" Sasuke returned, annoyed.

Naruto looked down, as a shocked look appeared on his face.

"I didn't realize it was still working."

"Then why don't you end it?" Sasuke was starting to get a little angry.

Naruto made the seal to release the jutsu. Nothing happened.

"Umm, Sasuke, it's not working."

"Fine. Shut up and eat your breakfast."

Naruto resumed eating. After a few bites, he turned an unhealthy shade and rushed for the bathroom. Shortly thereafter the sounds of retching could be heard. Sasuke suddenly became concerned about the quality of his food, as he considered food poisoning the most likely culprit. This, of course, is patently absurd, as Naruto hadn't been sick a day in his life. As soon as Sasuke realized this, he became concerned for Naruto. He went to the bathroom door.

"You okay in there?"

The only response he received was moaning and retching.

"I'm gonna go get Kakashi-sensei, okay?" Sasuke said, clearly eager to leave.

He got the same response as before, but this time Naruto managed a pained "Okay."

Sasuke made his way through the village towards their meeting spot. When he arrived, he was greeted by a chuckling Kakashi, and a rage filled Sakura.

"Hey, Sakura. Kakashi-sensei, I-"

THWACK

Sasuke felt his stinging cheek. He turned to Sakura. "What was..."

"You BASTARD, don't you dare 'hey Sakura' me after sleeping around with some blond floozy. Who knows who she's been around." At this, Kakashi couldn't contain himself anymore, and burst out laughing.

Fifteen minutes and a pair of beatings later, Sasuke and Kakashi, both none the worse for the wear, began talking over the problem.

"So, was last night everything you hoped for?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke blushed, "Sh-Shut up."

"I'll take that as a yes. So is my cute little student here for some...advice. Maybe new techniques.?" Kakashi said from behind his prized autographed copy of Icha Icha Paradise.

"Thank you but no."

"My, My, Sasuke, you've changed. Maybe what they say IS true after all. So what did you want?" said Kakashi.

"Well, there's kind of something wrong with Naruto. He, uh, maybe you should just come see this for yourself." Sasuke replied.

Now Kakashi was intrigued. "What exactly happened that I don't already know?"

"It's kinda out there, but I have a few theories."

"I've seen some pretty wierd stuff before, it'll take a lot to throw me." replied Kakashi.

"Well, I have to admit, I was certainly not expecting this." Kakashi said upon seeing a female Naruto puking into a toilet. "You said he can't undo the jutsu?" This last question was directed at Sasuke.

"That was the first thing we tried." Sasuke said.

Naruto got up from the bathroom floor. " I feel a little better."

"Good, because we're taking you to see Hokage-sama now." Kakashi said.

"Now?" both Sasuke and Naruto asked.

"Yes, now." Kakashi replied.

As they made their to the Hokage Mansion, Naruto perceived the smell of red bean broth and dango. He felt a sudden inexplicable craving for them.

"Sasuke," he said, "I'm hungry."

"Fine, we'll get you some ramen on the way home" Sasuke said in a testy tone.

"No," Naruto said in a petulant yet commanding tone, "I don't want ramen, I want that," pointing to the dango shop, "and I want it NOW."

Needless to say, Kakashi and Sasuke were floored, though Kakashi less so, having expected something like this.

"You want dango, at-"

"and red bean broth," Naruto interjected.

"Well Sasuke, what are you waiting for, go get some." Kakashi said.

Sasuke sighed, sensing that was going to be more trouble than it was worth, but also that it would be worse if he didn't. Sasuke walked up to the counter.

"I'd like an order of dango and red bean broth." Sasuke said in a monotone voice.

The server handed him his order. "You're in luck, this is the last of the batch."

Sasuke turned around to come face to face with a very determined kunoichi. "Those are mine, brat. Give 'em up."

Sasuke knew he was staring down a jounin and was in deep trouble. He considered giving it to her. Then a shiver ran down his spine accompanied by images of feminine rage. He decided to negotiate.

"No, you don't understand, I need these, VERY BADLY." Sasuke replied desperately.

"What's wrong, you knock up your girlfriend or something." the jounin asked.

Sasuke realized in horror that something very much like that may have happened. "Something like that."

"Maybe I might let you have. If..."

"I'll take you for all you can eat sometime later." Sasuke said.

"Alright, but I choose when."

Sasuke sighed "Fine."

Sasuke left the dango shop and went to hand it to Naruto. When he gave it to her, she yelled "What took you so long, I've been out here starving, while you've been in there flirting with some jounin. I should have known better than to rely on you. And where's the rice I asked for?"

"You didn't ask for rice." Sasuke said in a flat tone.

"Well get me some anyway."

Kakashi was having the time of his life watching this. As far as he was concerned, this was far funnier than anything Jiraiya had ever written. Jiraiya, meanwhile, was getting a ton of new research material out of their antics.

When they reached the Hokages office they explained the situation to him. He leaned back in thought. After a few minutes of quiet, he spoke directly to Naruto.

"So let me get this straight. You can't change back to your true form. You spent most of this morning vomiting, and you are having cravings for dango, red bean broth and rice. Do I understand this correctly?"

"I guess so." Naruto replied.

"I think I know what's wrong. But to make sure we're going to go to the hospital for some tests."

The Hokage led them out of the Building and across town to the hospital. Upon their arrival, he spoke with one of the doctors. The doctor walked up to Naruto.

"Naruto, is it. Uh, come with me, we have some tests to do."

An hour later a nurse escorted Naruto out.

"Sit down Naruto-kun, the doctor will be out shortly."

Two hours later, the doctor came out. He cleared his throat. Naruto and company waited for the results of the tests. "Well, I don't really know how to say this, and it's actually kind of awkward, so I'll just follow procedure. Naruto, congratulations, you're pregnant."

All Naruto could manage was a strangled "What," before fainting.

Author's note The 2nd: And so it begins "Ha Ha Ha" (All your base are belong to us!), my first story. Speaking of stories, Swordoflight86 would like to take a moment to shamelessly advertise his own fic "Naruto: Ninja of Snow" and apolgise to those of you who may have already read it for the delay as he is have difficulty accessing his profile at this time.


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